Thursday, February 11, 2010

Fashion homicide... suspect in custody...

Has it come to this?

Really?

Are we this apathetic about how we present ourselves to the world?

I had full intention of locking this topic away for an I Complain On Sundays spot... but frankly, it can no longer be ignored...




I would, first of all, like to extend my sincerest sympathies to the fashion world as a whole. I can't begin to fathom what this is doing to you. And if I could take away all your pain, you know I would... in a New York minute.









Secondly, I would like to thank my pal, Jessica, for turning me on to this ludicrous and shameful phenomenon. There should be more gals like Jess in this world... more people who are willing to stand up and say "NO, I WILL NOT!" in the alluring face of Hopeless and Lazy...




And finally, I present to you the source of my disdain... the thorn in my fashion conscious ass... the apocalypse of human dignity...

I give you....................

The Pajama Jean
"Pajamas To Live In, Jeans To Sleep In"
 or
"When Getting Dressed Is Really, Super Hard" 

 


W...T...F...?!?!?!?!

Now if I'm understanding this correctly, and I think I am, someone, somewhere has decided that it is imperative to own a garment that one can both "sleep in" and "where in public". And apparently, the consumers that are getting on board with this concept are feeling a little concern for how they might appear to others. Apparently, those who roll out of bed and head out for the day without so much as changing their grubby ass slumber apparel are being faced with some internal struggle about their appearance. APPARENTLY, it's looked down upon as FOUL and UNDIGNIFIED when one fails to GIVE A SHIT... So naturally, someone should cater to those who have clearly given up on life, but would still prefer to keep it under wraps for self-preservation's sake...


Furthermore, "FASHION" and "COMFORT" are not mutually exclusive. They may be achieved in tandem. Jeans can and are part of this seeming paradox. I have several... SEVERAL pairs of jeans that I find fabulously pleasant. Nevermind the plethora dresses I find both cozy and convenient... And what do you know? Socially acceptable to boot...


What's worse, is that the head executives at Sloppy Asstards, Inc. are marketing this travesty as follows:

"It's a fashion must-have for any woman looking to indulge her inner couch potato."
(there is some truth to this... however this behavior should not be rewarded... hence The Biggest Loser)

"Remember all the hullabaloo about a grocery store banning customers who shopped in pajamas? Well, your cries of outrage were heard. Behold, the Pajama Jeans."
(I'm sorry? People we're getting upset when they were asked to make themselves presentable?)


"The Pajama Jean sports a bevy of details that make it look like a regular pair of dark wash pants – authentic denim color, high-contrast stitching, back pockets with stitched designs and brass rivets. If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were wearing a pair of counterfeit designer jeans you bought from a powerselling Hong Kong dealer on eBay."
(please to direct me to the "designer jeans" that would be CAUGHT DEAD looking like this)



Whatever happened to keepin' it classy with a terry cloth robe a la The Big Lebowski... or quitting altogether and rockin' the cartoon flannels around town (I'm looking at you MRHS class of '97)... ?


And who determined that the going price for self-respect was $39.95?

Kiss your babies, tell your mothers you love them, the end is most certainly upon us...




5 comments:

  1. Are these things real or is this a joke. Surely this isn't going to take on. I mean how difficult is it to change out of your PJs? How can they say this is a 'fashion must have' unless they are being ironic!
    Jade

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  2. I see hoards of tweeners sporting these lovely jeans. But I have to say, I remember having stretch jeans once upon a time, isn't that basically the same thing?

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  3. JadeLD- they're real... I know... I'm sorry...

    Lourie- I think you may be refering to "jeggings" which are a legging/jean hybrid... these, on the other hand, are pajama pants made to look like jeans... not the same... much, much worse..

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  4. LOL. Oh my goodness. This is sad. Just sad. And yet, that is what I thought about Snuggies and they became a hot seller. Yup, society is going to hell in a handbasket.

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  5. Oooohhh....where can I get me some of those?!?

    Do they come in skinny?

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