Friday, January 29, 2010

I know... I suck... now quit your bitching...

I have 64 followers... 64 followers that rely on me... 64 followers that take time out of their hectic day-to-day to stop for a moment and read my thoughts... (or that started following me in the hopes of winning a Target gift card, but that's neither here nor there...)

So to you, my 64 followers, I apologize... from the bottom of my shitty attitude...

See, I've spent the better part of the week with a serious attitude problem... and it's just hard to come up with clever quips and pun-ny stories to shock and dazzle when I forget to check my 'tude at the door. And to coax myself out of this party o' pity, I filled my nights with friends and family... to the brim... allowing me no time to pout... and as a result, no time to blog.

But I'm back, baby! Don't you quit me... I'll work harder... I'll do better... I believe in us... we can turn this thing we have into forever...

(and thank the heavens above that it's 5 Question Friday... cuz I got nothin') Please to enjoy.

1. Would you ever vacation alone?

Hell yes! Give me a can of mace and a pineapple full of vodka and you can drop me off anywhere... I hear Yemen is nice this time of year...


2. Do you go the speed limit? 

It's the speed LIMIT... that doesn't mean you HAVE to go that fast... I like to keep it at an even 9mph at all times... I don't know why everyone went and got themselves in such a damn hurry...

Web of lies... I speed.

3. Why did you start blogging/following blogs?

Everyone I know was getting sick of hearing my voice. And I longed for a captive audience. I'm a narcissist. And I spend a lot of time thinking I'm funny so I thought I'd test my theory out on the unsuspecting masses to see if I was right... turns out I was not.

4. Where do you shop for yourself?

EVERYWHERE! I L.O.V.E. to shop. But I'm b-r-o-k-e... ALL. THE. TIME. And I don't have credit cards for those very reasons... So I tend to browse and covet and try-on... and on the rare occassion that I do purchase... I typically return... within the week...

Buyer's remorse and that pesky desire to nourish myself...

5. What was the song that you danced your first dance with your spouse to at your wedding... or... what song would you like your first dance to be to?

I've never been that girl. I'm not married. I may never want to be. And I never, ever once, ever once, have dreamt of a wedding. Or how it would look, or what I would do, or what songs I would dance to. Okay, maybe once... but not seriously... usually the fantasy ends after Brad Pitt says "Hell yeah, I do!"

But if I had to guess... John Tesh: Sax on the Beach... the entire album... 

(vomiting in the corner due to her own sarcasm getting the best of her)

Now go check out Mama M's Little Life to join in on the fun...



  1. 1. Yes to a solo vacation
    2. My foot tends to get a little heavy
    3. I really got into blogging after I met and became friends with my cousin's wife
    4. If I could shop where ever I many choices. But...for now it is Target or Kohl's
    5. I Cross My Heart by George Strait

    Here's to a better week for ya!

  2. Um...I think you are funny. To hell with the rest of em!

    Have a better week!

  3. Don't worry I'm still here! You're allowed a few days off of course! I also do vacation on my own sometimes, it's interesting just doing whatever you want and not thinking about anyone else.

  4. Thank you for your continued support ladies in the face of my sour week...

    Stacy- Amen! To hell with the rest of 'em!

  5. We all have those weeks/months/years/etc of attitudes...I missed out on it though so that's fine by me! lol I don't think I'd ever vacation on my own...I'd be bored. #4 reminds me of the King of Queens episode where Carrie buys really expensive clothes/shoes and then leaves the tags on and returns them. Have you seen it?

  6. I want the pineapple full of vodka! Even in the midst of a blizzard, that makes life just a little bit more