Thursday, December 17, 2009

Writer's Workshop: My cross to bear

I'm just an average gal. I've never been the prettiest or the sexiest or the ugliest or the smartest or the dumbest or the funniest or the athletic-est...

I'm just an average gal.

I've also never been okay with being average.

I want more.



I want the fabulous life. With the fabulous things. And the all the fabulous envy of the fabulous people.

Shallow? Perhaps. But really, I think I just want big things to happen. I've ALWAYS wanted big things to happen. Not material things. (But hell if they don't help) Just BIG things. Like BIG LOVE and BIG SUCCESS and BIG HAPPINESS and a BIG BIG OOEY GOOEY some kind of WONDERFUL!

My cross to bear is the inability to find contentment. Always reaching, always wanting, always needing... never stopping.

And I'm okay with that. Because I am a dreamer. I dream from the time I wake up in the morning to the time I go to sleep at night. And without my dreams I'm stagnant. I'm surrendering. I'm settling.

I refuse to settle... and I long to be so much more than average...

(And to be clear... I DO want an Oscar... I was being facetious)


  1. Well you certainly above average in the handwriting department...i'm jealous. Got the gift card...thanks again. As for being a dreamer, I'm the same way (my writer's workshop was about dreaming). I dont see anything wrong with having big keeps ya moving!

  2. What a frustrating cross to bear. On the one hand it's great because you should reach and strive and push for better...on the other hand, I can't imagine living with that feeling of discontentment. Do you want one of my children?? Maybe you just don't realize that being a MOM is where the party is at!!

  3. What an insightful post. Very thought provoking! I hope you do get your oscar someday! I love your 'medical receptionist by day, actor by daydream' line! Brilliant : ) You don't seem average to me at all : )

  4. My Dad always said, "If you're gonna dream...dream big" And Mom always says, "dreams are always free."