Top Ten Things Heard Whilst Eavesdropping During My Christmas Shopping Excursion Today:
10) "MOM, if Santa doesn't bring me the High School Musical movie, I'm going to actually die!"
- 8 year boy, still in the closet
9) "Seriously, that fool better buy me a ring this year or he's getting abstinence for Christmas..."
- 20-Something Soon-To-Be Single
- Tween to mom, pointing to a 45 year old woman that did NOT pee her pants, after smelling an elderly man that DID
- Dazed and confused husband and father, after knocking over an entire display of travel coffee mugs which rolled for several aisles
- Grandpa of the Year to Grandma of the Year
5) "Seriously honey, if you don't push that cart full of your children away from me right now you're walking home!"
- Mom at the brink
- Less than thrilled wife to adorably ignorant husband
3) "Streetcar Named Desire is one of those movies you can only see once. Marlon Brando was so effing hot! You just sit there the whole time wondering what the hell happened to him. It's super depressing."
- Girl after my own heart
2) "Who's idea was it to stuff shit in socks anyway? And it's always shit you don't want! Like more socks."
- Thug to Thugette, on the wonder of the stocking stuffer
1) "I can't tell one British guy from another. Those Brits are all the same to me. They just keep stealing all our movie roles."
"...And all the hot guys at the gym..."
- Fabulous gay man to his Fabulous gay friend