Friday, October 9, 2009

Is that a barnyard I smell, or am I in small town America?

I'm wondering if living in a small town gives people a license to stop washing their hair...

And to wear pajamas in public...

And to smoke in their cars with the windows rolled up and children in the backseat, no doubt, NOT properly buckled in...

My best friend lives an hour away from me in a "small town". And by "small town" I mean, "the middle of nowhere". The ratio of farms to trailers is an even draw. She lives so close to Mt. Rainier that if the great volcano decides to blow, the entirety of said small town will no longer exist. There will be but a large pile of ash and debris where the Safeway used to be.

I drive to them backwoods weekly to visit, and every Monday, every single Monday, the blatant absence of hygiene and dignity amongst the town's population leaves me dumbfounded. This is not to say that EVERYONE participates in a shower free lifestyle, or that I frown upon those less fortunate than myself. And this certainly is not to say that my friend is one of the offenders. But several, and I mean, MOST of those I come across are, and I would like to know why this is considered acceptable.

Is it because everyone in this town has presumably known everyone else in this town since birth and therefore, they've just stopped trying? Is it the constant impending doom of that great pulsating mountain just outside the window that causes some to think "Why put on pants? I'd rather die in flannel."? Is it hard to obtain shampoo and soap so far from a major metropolis?

And this is not the only whistle-stop I've recognized the trend in. My mother's entire family is from a small town in Michigan which suffers the same downfall.

As a self-diagnosed City Girl, I realize that my propensity for stilettos and winged eyeliner is the on the opposite end of extremes and certainly not suitable for most, but can't we find a happy medium? Isn't there a compromise? And so I implore...

Small Town Dwellers, I beg of you, wash your hair, throw on a pair of jeans, and don't give up on the eternal struggle with personal odor control! It may not lead to World Peace, but it will lead to a more pleasant and attractive trip to the grocery store... and that's something we can all rally behind!


  1. How dare you insult my lovely town....all those things MAY be true - but it is a rule that all those things should go unnoticed.

    How dare you judge....wanna hang out later?

  2. thanks for stopping by my blog. love your title and header. read a block of your posts. i had my wisdom teeth pulled too. what a trip! i think laughing gas should be readily available for any sort of pain. i wish you luck in your pursuit of an Oscar winning acting career. take care.

  3. From a girl who grew up in Suburbia to a woman who lived in smalltown America for 12 years (during marriage & divorce) and who RAN ALL THE WAY back to the big city, I cannot agree with you more. I once worked with a woman who said, "It doesn't matter how little money you have, soap and water are some of the cheapest things out there." :) Love the blog.