Tuesday, September 29, 2009

When did I stop being 25? And why wasn't I consulted?

Today I am 30... and instead of this heart-wrenching milestone leaving me with overwhelming sense that I have found some of the answers, I am left only with questions. Here are a wee few of them:

1) Were The Beatles considered a "boy band"? And if so, does that mean that my ongoing obsession with N*Sync is technically considered socially acceptable?

2) When exactly do I have to cease shopping in the Junior's Department? And when do I become that sad woman that sales people assume is shopping for her pre-teen daughter until she heads to the fitting rooms with a gaggle of ill-fitting skinny jeans and inappropriate graphic T's?

3) How embarrassed should I be when I buy wrinkle cream  and acne medication simultaneously? And haven't I paid my penance to the weekly 13 year old pubescent boy break outs? Seriously?

4) Am I allowed to audition for The Biggest Loser if I only have 10lbs. to lose? I'm not really interested in a lifestyle change... just one good week with a Rocco Dispirito cooking lesson and a Jillian Michaels ass kicking. I'm happy to weigh in and promptly be voted off.

5) If my mom is 60 and looks 45, is it safe to assume through deductive reasoning that I, in fact, look 15? I mean, we share DNA, that counts? Right?

6) Since I didn't graduate from college until I was 28, does that mean I get 8 more years to establish some sort of stable career? And procure a "pot to piss in", as it were?

7)And finally, how much is too much when it comes to eating frosting... with a spoon... out of the jar... in bed... while crying...?

4 comments:

  1. Happy Birthday Love!

    From what I hear 30 is the new 20, so yeah...put this post on hold for ANOTHER TEN YEARS GIRL! We'll have a raging party for our 30th birthday when it comes...in ten years. I just can't even imagine being that old. Wanna hit up the BP tomorrow??

    See you soon!

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  2. new follower who heard it's your birthday! You are 30 and not dead. It only gets better. I turned 40 last year and LOVED it, but I will admit, 30 SUCKED. Love the blog. Remember 30 is just a number and who you are is in your heart. So just get out there and kick some ASS! :) Lisa B.

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  3. Hi, came across your blog from mamakatslosinit's twitter.

    You're 30? Well, I must say you look awesome. I mean, that's your pic in the sidebar, right? :) I can't say I know how you feel yet (I'll be 29 next month), but I do kind of feel that dread looming over me. LOL But yeah, agree with above comment (only because everyone tells me) that 30 is the new 20. I'd like to think your number 5 is true, too, because I still get carded. (sigh) Gotta love that, right? :) Have a great birthday!

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  4. Well, if it makes you feel any better. I turned 30 PLUS 1 yesterday.

    We can "SOOO" rock the 30's, girlfriend.
    Hope you had a great bday!

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