13 hours ago
Thursday, August 27, 2009
The only thing better than My Antonio would be My Chocolate Covered Antonio...
In the absence of an interesting life, I shall dazzle and intrigue with a list...
11 Reasons Why My Antonio on Vh1 Is Better Than Sex
1) Instead of staring at your "significant" other, you get to stare at Antonio Sabato Jr.
2) It lasts an entire hour
3) These bitches paid hundreds of thousands of dollars to look like that, and you still look better crumb covered and make-up free sitting on your faux leather couch with a mouth full of Doritos
4) There are a lot of tears, and for once, they don't belong to you
5) Instead of rolling over and instantly slipping into a coma when it's over, Antonio tells you exactly what's going to happen next time... and he never fails to tantalize
6) Antonio Sabato Jr.'s dimples are not on his ass
7) All the ridiculous, insensitive, and/or crass comments that come from Antonio have been edited out, and all that remains is romance and chocolates
8) When Antonio Sabato Jr. rejects a "woman" the phrase "you are not getting lei'd tonight" is used
9) You only have to do it on Sundays
10) The rejection is brutal, and not aimed at you
11) He always hits the sweet spot!